Today felt like a long day. I felt mentally and physically drained without good reason. Selfish and spiritually clouded. Acting as only a barking referee most of the day. And instead of building up, I tore down.
Once the boys were to bed, I was able to have some time in my little corner. Reading corner…Quiet area…snuggle spot…all of the above. I read aloud from my Bible. Thought, struggled, prayed, and found myself in need of repentance as I reflected on the day. How quickly I default to everything being about me. Like when the boys are fighting, I yell something hypocritical like “SPEAK LOVINGLY TO YOUR BROTHER!!!” because I am so annoyed that I have chosen to lose control over my own tone of voice. I am like Aesop’s mother crab telling her son to walk a straight path when she herself walks sideways.
But how good the Lord is to me. After time with him I later find that I am refreshed, strengthened, and excited to love my children tomorrow. Hopeful that I can love them better, and eager to show them a repentant heart in hopes that I may keep theirs.
The Brave Hesitant 